she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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