reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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