You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
