i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize