I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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