dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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