Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
