Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
