I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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