spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
