I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
