Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
