This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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