How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
