my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
