help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
