i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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