What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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