you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
