I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Drunk is a universal language darling
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
