i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
