addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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