is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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