i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
