Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
