I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
