Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
