he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
