I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
