I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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