I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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