I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
