HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
