He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
