i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
