I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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