Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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