people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
