They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
