So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
