Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
