That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
