honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
