Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
