ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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