idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
