So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
