I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
