he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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