Me. At least after what I've been through.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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