Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
