now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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