I bet he comes in French.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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