my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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